"my report has now been read by my children and it has confirmed what they always knew - that all parents are hypocrites!" - Jon Parlby
From Phil Robertson on the subject of his Physics report : "Jim, Jim, Jim....could you not see the topics going over my head and hitting the wall at the back of the room?"
From Julie West on the subject of her disastrous geography report : "Ooooh err..... those words are imprinted on my mind!! Liked old Mos, though - he used to get really mad with our class - he was our form teacher. The first time I ever heard the phrase 'you lot get right up my nose' was from him - funniest thing I'd heard. He used to chuck rubbers at us when he was really angry, twiddle his moustache and go all white and angry!"
From Mandy Rance (Miss Nice But Dim - her words, not mine!) : I was one of those pupils that teachers seemed generally to like. Unfortunately I was not a shining star in the classroom. (I have since been identified as having and aknoliged (!) somewhat dyslexic tendencies. These days I would no doubt receive sympathy, help and advice and allowances would be made for my lack of ability where written work was concerned. Those days I was just plain thick! Thank The Lord for word processors with spell checkers is all I can say!